I was back at my family’s visiting over the holidays and my dad said something interesting.
First, a bit of backstory. His dad, my grandfather, was mean bastard. Really. He made me look like Mother Theresa. He was born in the US but was taken back to Europe to be raised. It was a tough upbringing – pretty close to slavery, from the stories I heard. Most meals were bread and water. And he had to carry the water in two buckets tied to a pole. When they built a house, he had to use a brick to sand the inside so the inner bricks wouldn’t be so rough. The old man worked at Ford building engines and he had to fight to keep his job many times. All along, he was insistent that treating my dad like crap would help him become a better man. Now, my dad is a great man, but I doubt it was because grandpa was such a prick. More likely because my dad chose to overcome the abuse and treat people with decency and respect – quite the opposite of how his dad behaved.
I told you all that so I can tell you this; Last week, my dad said to me (paraphrasing) “A little while ago, I realized that for the past 71 years, I’ve been trying to please my dad. My dad’s been dead for over 10 years and I still find myself wondering if what I’ve chosen to do from day to day will please him. I want you to know that I’m very happy with you and you’ve exceeded my hopes for a son.”
I thought that was pretty cool of him to say.
He didn’t need to say it, though, because he and my mom raised me in such a way that I focus on me. I don’t need anyone’s approval for anything I do. I told him that. So I’m good either way. I am self actualized, as they say.
Anyhow, that was the comment from my Dad.
For Christmas Dinner (the day after Christmas) we split a Chateau Brianne at The Dearborn Inn. Awesome meal.
That, more than ANYTHING, shows what a great man your father is.
And, personally, I think he has very good judgement in people.
Your Dad is a GREAT man, Jon. That one statement, showed it, whether you needed it or not. He is still learning about himself and imparting on you. How cool is that?